She was right.

The truth of the matter is everyone will hurt you. But the most important thing is you gotta know who’s worth suffering for.

I knew from the start you were worth it but you don’t feel the same way.

Please do not forget the time I first let you in my life. Do not forget the second till the fifth (and last) time, as well. Please do not forget I forgave you and gave you enough chances to make it right. Please do not forget I tried to understand you in every way possible. Please do not forget that I was willing.

Four years– of trying, hurting, fighting for it over and over again, leaving, coming back home to each other’s arms,  of truly loving without why’s and how’s.

You said we are impossible. Then I guess you haven’t really done something difficult in your life.

—

My Mama taught me two words that matter to us. She taught me to ALWAYS say THANKS and SORRY because these two are often neglected and ignored but they are the most important ones. Small words but they sure make a BIG DIFFERENCE when meant. She was right because it would have made things a little better yesterday.

I hope you were able to meet her because maybe, just maybe, you said sorry last night.

Men. Women. Gays.

I am for homosexuality but the recent news of transvestites being allowed to join the Ms. Universe pageant is just too much. I think that they have crossed the line. There are no operations that could make them real women. They may have boobs and vaginas but they are all fake. They can never be women.

Do not get me wrong. I accept that gays want to have a body of a woman but that being said, they will always be men. They should not pressure the society to accept them as women. It will never happen.

What they should fight for is that they should be accepted as the THIRD SEX. They should lobby that they get equal rights that men and women enjoy and that they should be given the same opportunities that we heterosexual beings get. Their own restrooms, perhaps? Own beauty pageants? I don’t know but I hope you get the picture.

Letting them join the Ms. Universe, a pageant that celebrates womanhood, is just plain disrespectful. It’s like mocking what a woman is and should be. Can’t we just have a Gay Muse of the World or something like it?

I’m sure a lot of people will get mad at me for this but I stand by my point that being gay is so different than being a man or a woman. They are a totally different sex that should be acknowledged and respected by the society. And until the time that they can bear a child, GAYS WILL NEVER BE WOMEN. And I doubt it will ever happen.

Fangirl Flailing.

I never knew that Derek could be so scorching hot that even Boracay sun will bow to him. Okay, that’s a little bit too much but you get the picture. A week ago, my friends and I went to Boracay and lost our voices shrieking like little girls over Derek Ramsey. All I can say is, ang swerte ni Angelica Panganiban! And Erich Gonzales, if the rumors were true. *wink, wink.

So together with 4 girls and two gay friends, we shrieked, cheered, and blushed over Derek’s smile by Close-Up, skin by Belo, body by God.

Here are our fangirl (gay) photos:

We were so suprised to see him walking without his shirt on at 2 in the morning. We all had a gooooood night.

Miles sucking it all in. No need for mesotherapy there.

Donna giddy in all parts of her body as seen thru her smile. Lol.

She waited for him the whole afternoon for this photo.

I really wanted my body to touch his and thought of not taking a bath till i reek. But it was so friggin' hot.

I told you I went to Boracay with two gay friends, right?

Dear Derek,

 

You made my summer even hotter. Touching you was like touching the sun. Tssssss.

 

Droolingly yours,

Lhen

Instagramed.

I am in love with Instagram.

The first time ever I saw the app, I wanted to have one really bad but I am an Android junkie and Instragram was exclusive for iPhone until recently.  So when I heard that it is finally open to Android, I downloaded it right away. And now I’m addicted to it. I don’t want to but it’s so damn cute like Draw Something (which is another app I can’t stop playing).

So cheers to Instagram! May we spread digital art, one filter at a time.

***Sharing with you some of my favorite Instgram photos grabbed from my friends and random people in Instagram. 

My girlfriends and I during one of our 'monthly' dinners. We try.

My best buddy and I channeling Vanessa Hudgens as we wait for Papa Zac in CamSur. Asa.

Love Bites. Just perfect. Taken by my good friend, Grace.

Beautiful sunset. - from random person in Instagram

Last and definitely not the least, New York skyline. I hope to see this for real soon. Crosses fingers.

 

 

Boracay, you sexy beach.

I love Boracay. It never fails to bring stupid, crazy, and funny memories. Some of them I would like to forget for reasons I cannot disclose. Lol!

My love affair with this beautiful island started in 2006. Prior to that trip, I was one of the few who see Boracay as overrated and too inhabited. But it all changed when I had a first-hand experience of the turquoise waters, powdery sand, and the most delicious mango shake ever made. To top it all of, I was with my father and brother.

And the rest, as they say, was history.

In 2010, bringing liquor bottles and actually having your own bar by the beach was still allowed. My friends and I decided to have our own little brainiac party by the shore with mojitos and rhum on hand.

I went back last January and I was reprimanded by the Boracay Police for drinking a bottle of beer by the beach. Being a stubborn lil girl, I still finished the bottle up to its last drop, sitting on the sand, watching the sunset. Booyah, policeman! But the next day, we ended up drinking in Epic instead.

The party in Boracay never stops. It starts when you first set your foot on this island and stops when you get back to work. How sad. In 2011, I, together with my 19 friends (mostly gays who I love so dearly), went to wreak havoc in Boacay. Oh, yes we did. On our first night, we spent a whopping P17k (as far as I know) just for drinks. One of us was so drunk that he wanted to go swimming in a hotel's pool we're not billeted in. Que horror.

Who would not ride an ATV in Boracay? This must be the most dangerous ATV driving ever. I never knew that I would be on an ATV, driving it on the island's highway together with the mini-trucks, minivans, and tricycles honking at your back telling you to go faster. And get this, this was around 6pm--the starting time to experience the scarcity of street lamps in Boracay.

The dangerous ATV drive will be worth the risks when you get to Mt. Luho. Seeing the other side of the island is a breather from the crazy and loud White Beach. I think it's one of the must-sees in the island. Plus, it wouldn't hurt if you see some hot windsurfers. Teehee!

What could have been the cause of my death in 2010? Flying Fish. I'm not lying when I say that I saw my mom and my life flash before me. Flying Fish is the worst ride if you were not able to hold the handle (that is equal to your life) and were thrown to the open sea in 120 kph. But it can be the most fun if you were able to make it alive and reminisce the time you almost lost your bikini bottom or the first time you heard your prim and proper bestfriend cuss, three at a time.

For the lazy ones, island hopping is one of the best activies Boracay can offer. The neighboring beaches are too die for. Just bring lots of beer and chips, ipod with speakers, sunblock, and your trusty camera and you're all set!

Your Boracay trip will not be complete without trying to end your life--Flying Fish, ATV driving on the highway, Zorbing. But the fastest and most fun way to do it is to go cliff-diving in Ariel's Point. Well, it's not really that dangerous not unless you wanna do back flip when you jump. But jumping off a cliff is one way of destressing which is the main reason why you went to Boracay in the first place. Am I right? So go ahead, shell out P1500 and head to Ariel's Point and jump. It wouldn't hurt to take a shot first as well.

And of course, the main reason why my Boracay trips are always AWESOME…. the people I’m with.

IT’S THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE A PARTY AWESOME, NOT THE DRINKS. 

March 2010 - Edge, Elaine, Dong, Kaye, and I.

February 2011 - JP, Martin, Jan, and I.

February 2011, The biggest Boracay crew ever - JP, Mikey, Tin, Mark, Agnes, Walter, Jill, Louie, Dudes, Mike, Joanne, Mina, Niko, Muse, Jhey and if ever I forgot anyone, I'm so sorry. :s

September and November 2011 - Miles and I.

January 2012 - Kathy, Mike, Wem, and I.

***As I am writing this, I am fully charged and excited to go and be crazy again this April (for Miles’ birthday celebration) and May (for Ultimate Frisbee tournament) with my loves! Yipee!

Cam One, Cam All. CamSur.

Finally, we were not missing anyone. Thanks to the kindest friends in the world, I was able to go with them. You guys don’t have an idea how thankful I am. Hugs. Tight. Tighter.

(Salamat Elaine, Dong, EJ, Rancy (new recruit!), and Kaye, my new lesbian lover.)

March 4-7 was our scheduled annual Kaladkarin getaway and we decided to go to Naga with a side trip to Caramoan Peninsula. The little side trip was a wrong idea for people who have a low emotional quotient like us. Boredom + seasick x butt numbness = six cranky boys and girls. Haha!

Anyways, I didn’t have an idea that trip was never meant for relaxation for I went home with sore muscles and shattered eardrums. Wakeboarding on your first day? Worst idea ever.

But thinking about it now, I am actually thankful rediscovering my sporty self. I thought i was turning into a boring old-maid.

During this trip, we went wake boarding, climbed a big rock overlooking the whole island, jumped on a trampoline trying to kill each other, slid down a big inflatable boulder, and exercised our tummy muscles by eating. A lot. Haha!

Again, it was such a fun trip. Epic, I must say. Too bad we had to go back to reality. Boo. :s

That's us trying to listen how to knee board to save our lives!

My bestfriend and I were so happy that we are still alive! Yay!

Friends cheer you on. If you fail, they still will.

We're complete and with the newest member, Randy 'Bubba" Geba! Yay!

the photo that made me realize that I am just as big as a wakeboard. :/

I'm hanging on for dear life. Good thing my right butt cheek did not say "oh, hello there!'

that's our ever glam ride going to our resort! lol! yeah, yeah, yeah, I traveled four hours in my sleepwear. Hahaha!

that's us on top of the rock overlooking the whole island! Love on top!

The Lovebirds: Dong&Elaine, Edge&Rancy, new lesbian lovers Kaye&I.

Every beach getaway needs a jump shot.

*Most of the domestic airlines have daily flights to Naga. Check out CamSur Watersports Complex (CWC) for accomodations. They have budget friendly rooms and expensive villas as well. You can be sporty and wakeboard till 10pm or just be silly and kid around Lago del Rey waterpark. 

Attreversiamo to 2012.

So it was just a year? ‘Cause it was going on like forever.

2011 was a roller-coaster ride. It started of really good. I was on my journey to rediscovering myself, figuring out what and who makes me happy. It was really doing good. And then Cancer came and ruined everything. Cancer feeds on happiness and he chose to feed on mine.

They say that you will be able to tell if it the year has been a great one or not if you ask yourself to look back and think of one thing from that year that sticks the most. I just think of me losing one great love of my life, my father.

My year just came spiraling downwards. I was rock bottom. I thought of killing myself; of  just ending my life for the reason I breathe is gone.

But one thing that my father taught me is to fight, to look for other reasons to make you live and laugh; to make you believe in love.

So I looked back again, edited the worst parts, put them in a sack and threw it all away. And I was left with these:

I met a new friend in island paradise that added one great Pantone color in my life. That person made me crazier and taught me to just let go and be happy even just for one night. I made new friends that means new knowledge about the world. I got a new job and made new great friends along the way and it’s fantastic. I got an old friend back and I’m so happy he came back. I got the best partner in crime who doesn’t judge and will love me no matter what. I still have my highschool friends with me. I got the best gay friends who are willing to walk me down the aisle when I get married. I still have Weep and his family.  I have the sweetest dog who loves me without  asking me for anything in return but just to rub her tummy. I got new moms and dads here and in New York. I still have a family: my brothers.

I received too much love this year. I have too many friends to celebrate with. I am still blessed.

2011 is not a year of losing love but instead a year of finding it back.

So I’ll end this year not with bitterness but with hope that the next year will be filled with more life, love, laughter and inspiration.